Year of Pleasures - post one

So since we're starting up this book club thing back up, I thought I'd share some thoughts of the first few chapters I've read so far. I wrote some notes in my book to contribute (I know, kind of nerdy).

The book we're reading this winter break of 2008 is called The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg (2006).

Things I noted:

- The quotes prior to reading the book. They were enigmatic. I think these will make a lot more sense once I finish the story. Sort of like a bait, read the book and understand why she picked these quotes. And maybe by the end I would have gotten over my laziness to look up what dulicmer is...

- Quotes I really liked:
"I saw in a way I never had before the beauty and diversity of the earnest labor on the earth, and also our ultimate separateness. This helped my pain metamorphose into something less personal and more universal, something organic and natural. And that helped give me strength." (chp. 1)

"Sometimes serendipity is just intention, unmasked" (chp. 1)

"... refrigerators with the doors removed, suggesting and odd nakedness"(chp. 1)

The use of words such as mighty, elemental sense, pale, wrong to explain death of a loved one. (chp. 2)

"tidal wave of pain" (chp. 2)

The book is written really beautifully.

Discussion Questions:

So I went to he website on the back just to get an idea of what to talk about, because a lot of the experiences that Bette Nolan is going through is new for me. I understand some of the emotions.

http://www.randomhouse.com/rhpg/rc/library/display.pperl?isbn=9780812970999&view=rg

Q: In the early pages of the book, while driving to the Midwest with all of her belongings in tow, Betta finds an unexpected freedom and relaxation. What does moving, or even driving, have to do with this release Betta feels?

Sumi: The first quote I noted:

"I saw in a way I never had before the beauty and diversity of the earnest labor on the earth, and also our ultimate separateness. This helped my pain metamorphose into something less personal and more universal, something organic and natural. And that helped give me strength."

I think is quite important to note. Driving is usually a therapeutic way to relax and to mull over the many emotions in our main character. I know you two must be able to relate to this with your many trips from Austin to Houston and back.

First of all, Betta's release is not escaping per say, I think it's a way for her to think her way through all the emotions that revolve around John. I think escaping for her was not to be in denial (like everyone was saying to her), but to remember John.

John's character (if you haven't read the second chapter you may want to read it now) seems to have been about understanding the larger scheme of life through simple pleasures, and by having her step back by pursuing his and her dream, I think she's able to think clearly about their relationship and remember him the way he he would have wanted her to. Hence the whole cremation thing that he's nowhere but everywhere.

The freedom is to associated thus with the ability to find John in all aspects of her quest, but at the same time learn to cope with this loss while transitioning as well.

I don't blame her though if it may also have been partly denial. Honestly, I would have wanted to move somewhere far away if I had lost someone that close. During the second chapter, it was hard for me just to read about all her emotions. To me it seemed like an episode of pms'ing, only prolonged over an agonizing amount of time. Instead of a short bout, it's a long, drawn out storm. I guess running away from the past is not the best thing to do, but then I've never lost anyone that close. Most of the time I'm reading I don't even want to think about how it must be to lose someone that close. But that is all besides the point.

The move and the driving gives her time to think and remember him. An ode to her late husband.

Give your responses if you wish. I'll just keep posting. Ooooo, I just found a really good question that I think you guys would be better at answering:

Q: Do you think Betta has made a mistake in forsaking her friends for the intensity of a lifetime with John? How do you balance the intimacy of a partner and children with female friends in your own life?

I was reading this and thought of how you guys were able to balance friends, family and intimacy with your husbands. Then after reading Bette's account of how her life revolved around her relationship with her husband, I found it almost unimaginable to give up other relationships because of this keen friendship and intimate relationship. I don't know if I'd do that, but you guys have had your share of these things and you've both discussed this issue. So hearing your thoughts and response to her relationship will probably be much better than my "Er..... wow, that must have been really intense" responses.

Anyways, now I'm on chapter 5 or 6. Look forward to your responses :)

Best,
Sumi

Questions Answered

1. Have you started reading the book?
Yes! I've been at home sick all week, so I've had quite a bit of time to read. I finished the Moscow part this morning and I liked it. What about you guys? Did you get the book yet?

2. Are we going to set a schedule?
Um, if you want to we can. My goal is to finish it in the next two weeks, but I know I'm ahead of y'all.

3. How will this work?
I was thinking we'd just post discussion points, thoughts, questions, etc. that pique our interest as we read the book. Really it can be about whatever you want. Any other ideas?

Let's Get it Started

Hi ladies!

I'm not really sure how this works yet, but I think y'all should be able to post on here by using your gmail acounts. I guess we'll just have to play around with it.

Also, I know y'all mentioned that you wanted a name that talked about friends connecting or something, but every name I could think of that was kind of cute was unavailable. We may be able to change the blogspot name later and for sure we can change the little quote (Take a look, it's in a book) later. I just wanted to get this started. Let me know what you think!

Love you both!